So I'll admit to not knowing exactly how to start this blog post. I'm mostly light-hearted and jovial on this blog and I'm definitely not trying to give the impression that I'm going to be changing the tone in general. But instead of posting this on my more ranty private blog, i really want to create a sort of public forum to discuss something thats been on my mind lately. Which, if you couldn't tell from the title, has to do with the joy of being a teenage girl in high school.
So, I think that being in high school could quite possibly be the most taxing and difficult experiences I've gone through in my life, and I've dealt with some real shit. I don't know what it is, but I've never experienced such animosity in any other situation. And what i can't figure out, is if this mentality of blatant hate and animosity is biological, or something society has taught us. With all the technology at our disposal, there are many more ways to inflict pain on others, without having to have the bravery to do so in person. We get to hide with our cowardice behind the internet, cell phones and potential anonymity.
And i want to make it clear that i am in no way eschewing any culpability on my part on occasion. I have been as much a part of this as anyone, but I was lucky enough to realize fairly early on that there was something wrong about the way we attack one another. Perhaps it is my own mentality, or my own personal struggles, but i find the attacks on another's body type, looks or personality to be cruel, immature and frankly, sad.
But what i want to talk about is WHY these things happen. Why are we the generation of mean girls? Why are girls committing suicide or checking into mental facilities to escape their existences filled with bullying and animosity? Why do we attack other girls to build ourselves up? Why are body snarking, ho-calling and attacks on personalities so prevalent amongst us? Why are we allowing these predetermined standards of society to erode our sense of self and justice? Why does calling someone out on how much they weigh, or what size pants they wear make you feel better? Where is YOUR self-esteem? Where is YOUR confidence? Are we really so lacking in morality that we see nothing wrong with these attacks against others?
These are just questions that i want answers too. I want to know WHY. And if you can shed any light, please do so.
Stay Beautiful,
IK
p.s. If you want another view, visit Maile's blog, where she goes after a specific aspect of this problem.
6 comments:
I was totally thinking about Mean Girls when I wrote my post, haha.
So, a couple months ago, when I was having one of my freak outs, my dad told me something about high school that really makes sense. He told me that high school was a "shithole filled with adolescents who all hate themselves and, by proxy, everybody else."
And when you think about it, it's completely true. High school is a complicated social jungle consisting of young adults who, due to their lack of self confidence, constantly compare themselves to those around them. And when they find themselves lacking, their jealousy breeds hatred and they act out. Mix in the crazy hormonal shit that girls our age have to go through and you've a nasty recipe for the exact situation that you're in. And the really, really sad part is that the girls that these other girls are jealous of feel the same way. It's a vicious circle of angst.
I'm going to drag your boobs back into this because I'm having fun using big words and sounding smart. BUT ANYWAYS.
For example, you've got people giving you shit about your boobs. Big boobs are something that western culture finds very attractive. You obviously have that, which gives other girls reason to be jealous of you. Couple that with your more-mature-than-typical views on dating and the fact that these girls don't understand the reasoning behind your choices, and you're right back in that same situation again.
And if we're being honest, the whole drama situation (from what I can tell) has nothing to do with you. It could just as easily be me, or Sonja, or Kyra. You just happen to be the victim of the week.
So, from my position as uninvolved bystander, that's what I see. I hope it helps. I kind of feel like I belabored the point, but I'm totally fed up with teenage girls.
Hey Girl, hope you don't mind me dropping in on your dilemma.
Well, my only guess is that with most of the internet you're anonymous. These shallow girls sit in the comfort of their own home and attack over the internet. Because there's no way they'd have to guts to say those things to your face, it's the cowards way out.
As to why? I'm not sure if I have a good answer for that. Maybe you have something they want, and I'm not talking about big boobs or whatever. But for the fact that you let these comments roll down your back and take them with a grain of salt. As for the other girls, as soon as their own drama ends they gotta find more, because they just can't let things go like how you do.
I probably didn't answer a whole lot of questions, but there's my brain for you.
-Hana
I very much agree with Maile: a lot of kids in high school are going through changes (emotional, physical, mental, familial, etc) and they don't know what to do with themselves. Many people think that York is immune to that, but as you have discovered, just because someone has book smarts doesn't mean they're smart about anything else.
I've never been a bitchy girl (at least I hope I haven't); I was usually the one getting picked on. Luckily, my mom taught me from a very early age that those "mean girls" be trippin'. And like Hana said, they're going to keep looking for drama. Drama whores like this are an unfortunate part of life, so I hope you learn to just ignore them.
As to your question of "why" girls are so mean, I think it's because they enjoy the feeling of power. Bullies have been around since the beginning of time, even in the animal kingdom (omegas). However, the animal social classes are usually based around food, shelter, and mates. As humans, we get the exclusive pleasure of having emotions, including the feeling of being in power. I'll admit that the few times that I was a bully felt really good. However, I of course have more reasons to be nice than to be a bitch.
So.. just try and distance yourself from the people that are causing drama. Hang out with friends, focus on school, and eat a lot of chocolate. :)
Thanks guys. I really enjoy getting your feed back and support. Luckily, i guess i can look at this as a learning experience. And, im very fortunate to not be in a more serious situation...and mmmmmhhmmmm....chocolate...
Hey this is Grace I was too lazy to make an account or even read the options I had so I clicked the bottom one. Also its really long. You might want to grab a sandwich or something.
Also sorry if I'm lecture-y or holier-than-thou. I'm not trying to teach you anything, I just wanted to express my opinions in a discussion-y manner haha. This is how I feel, not how I want you to feel or... whatever.
High school is the part of life where we want to think like adults but are held back by biological, legal, and other sorts of restrictions. In some ways, I've learned to see it as a test. If I couldn't handle a few girls calling me fat or making fun of me because I wore sweatshirts every day (I used to be "sweater girl") I wasn't ready for the real life.
This is must my personal experience with it, but that animosity and hate... I see it in myself too. It's who we all start off as. I don't mind being a bitch when it matters... haha. I think that everyone at some point enjoys the feeling of letting the biatch out. Some of us find it easier to look over unnecessary things, but others think it's fun to start fights for fun. I do it, too. I'm friends with them and I don't blame them. Which'll sound weird, and may make me seem biased, but I don't hold anyone responsible because that is life and that is high school. It's my firm belief that that's not going to change, no matter what people think. I'm optimistic, but at my best times I am realistic.
We're trying to handle real life but we can't yet. At least a lot of us can't. I can't. That's why a lot of people think we can't fall in love. We can, but since it's our first experience-- we don't know how to handle it. Don't know how to treat new situations. Don't know how to feel about new experiences. I think that's why it's all so exciting. The emotions are new and strong, but we don't have the wisdom to look at everything objectively. We're like newborn vampires, Sarah. Only without the bloodsucking and sex scenes. Well, without the bloodsucking.
anyways, what I was saying is that I don't blame anyone for being a bitch. In fact, I expect it out of everybody. Im more shocked by someone's kindness than their bitchiness. It's no personal thing, it's just how high schoolers are.
I'm friendss with the ones who, you know, were all up in your face or whatever you kids say... haha. I am completely detached when it comes to these things because I just dont fucking care anymore... obviously if someone was like 'bitch you fat' I'd be upset. No one likes insults. But I know that if we were adults with normal adult emotions, that probably wouldn't have happened, but since we're teenagers, we have so many new emotions and we don't know what to do with them, kinda like Ivy said.
This is really long, and I'm getting lecture-y which is bad because you're older than me and you've probably done more and seen more but we all have our demons and I wanted to say something because I love to talk.
Wow this is REALLY long. Sorry.
ANyways. Yeah.
- Grace
Thanks for your thoughts grace! Don't worry, you didn't come off lecture-y at all.
I think you make a good point when you say that situations like the one that prompted this post occur because teenagers just cannot handle their shit. And the ones that CAN (i'd include you in this category) just cannot make themselves care. which i think in turn spawns more bitchery.
Just a side not, i didn't mean this post as an attack on specific girls....even if a specific event(s) prompted it.
Thanks love!
Post a Comment